We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
