I accidentally had phone sex last night
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
