Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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