there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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