And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
