I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
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Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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