i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
