im drinking this country out of the recession.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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