im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
this is an emotional support booty call
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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