he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
