You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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