he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
