Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I fill condoms, not promises.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
