he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
