We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
