Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
