I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
