Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
