if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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