So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
