My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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