my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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