She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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