Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
