franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
