perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
