I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
