In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's blow job season.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
