It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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