i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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