I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
