Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
