so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
