Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
