You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
