you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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