She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
