WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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