3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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