Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I need moral support for this bender
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
