i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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