i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
