i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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