i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
