margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
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