dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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