GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
