wakey wakey hands off snakey
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
