I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
