i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
