Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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