Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
