I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
