i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
