Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
