his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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