Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
