ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
