D3 body, D1 cock
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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